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“Don’t ask me how big an 8 oz. sirloin is,” says LadyMcMuffinTop, “I will respond with ‘8 ounces’”.
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I can have up to 5 or 6 (or 10!) tables at a time.  If I can’t get to you right away, this is why.  I will try my best but you have to help me out sometimes.  

Waitress Attacked for Bringing Wrong Order

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/04/06/waitress-attacked-at-red-_n_1408327.html

This is the kind of crazy people that come to restaurants.

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I went to a restaurant last night with my family.  The trainee server did a better job of serving us than the trainer.  The trainer walked by multiple times and made NO eye contact with our table.  She even tried to avoid greeting us.  Her trainee constantly was looking over at our table and paying attention to our refill needs.  FYI We handed the trainee $10 when he dropped off the check without her and tipped the trainer $3.  
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This is just bad manners.  Don’t bring in your own soda or food just because you don’t want to spend the $$.  The only exception I have to this is for children under the age of 4.  I know kids are picky or all they can eat is baby food.  I have no intention on serving you though for you to spend $5 and take up my table for an hour while you eat your Taco Bell and drink your slurpee from Circle K. (this is out of order because I accidentally posted it on my personal blog a few days ago)
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If you’re that damned determined to make sure we make minimum wage so you no longer have to give us money, bring it up with your congressman and start a petition.  Personally, no one could pay me $7.65 to wait tables. The only reason I do this is for the $$.
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The to-go/carside person is a server position in itself.  The person who does this takes your order, prepares it in to go boxes, makes sure you have any condiments or silverware you need, brings it to you and cashes you out.  Please tip your to-go person.  They often get paid less than minimum wage as well and even if they don’t they put a lot of effort into your order.  Thank you. :)
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We all have personal lives, I get it. However, your job depends on how well you treat your guests.  Leave your drama at the door.  If you get overwhelmed, don’t take it out on the customer and don’t air it out in front of the customer.  We may not always like being at work, but we all know how much we love the money we get at the end of the day/night. :)
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Don’t expect your check to come back to you quickly (within a minute or two) if you are a part of a large party that pays separately.  While on a normal occasion you should expect prompt return of you card or change, in this instances we may need to run multiple cards or get change from the bartender/manager.  Please be patient.
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Don’t get upset when I don’t get to you right away because I’m at another table.  I can’t be at your table, their table, getting drinks, and running food all at the same time.  When you find a way to defy the laws of physics let me know, it would probably increase my tips.

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